©Before The Upbeat of His Bipolar Shift

Know Someone Singing That Song Just Another Manic Monday?
Is That Your Theme Song?
There are shift doctors who can help when someone suffers extreme shifts in moods: mania and depression.

black dog2

Mimi Wolske
All Rights Reserved

It was always there, always.
The reality of it following the last beat,
the beat immediately preceding
that upbeat of you bipolar shift,
that feeling you long for; not
that downbeat of despair you dread.

She always imagined it
being like a foot in suspension—
on the rise but not quite there—
and the anxiousness you felt
unknowing whether it would descend
for another downbeat of despair
before reaching the longed for upbeat.

This is the worst time, right?
The timing of grayer skies and
shorter days when you find yourself
under the same influence as that great
statesman Churchill’s own black dog
the one still under controversy discussion,
the one many know as manic depression.

Just as so many before her, she never
understood why there were never displays
of affection, of love…of intimacy. What if
she finds out? What will she say? Will she
tell others? Will she?! Fear brings the downbeat
and the predator eats well for another day.

She watched you pace and pace and pace
and count, count everything. She
constantly asked if you wanted to sit.
Did she know you could not sleep—
for days—because there was so much
energy you knew you would explode?

It was always there, always.
The reality of it following the last beat,
the beat immediately preceding
that upbeat of you bipolar shift,
that feeling you long for; not
that downbeat of despair you dread.

black dog1

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